The Murdermuffin Post-it

I wrote this on New Year’s Eve 2001 while tripping on psilocybin mushrooms. I wrote it on a Mac in the Post-It note application; hence, I call it the murdermuffin post-it:

childlike wonder

even standing in the halls at Best Buy

fascinatyion

leaving little notes

around

poety

on

post-it

notes

[do that]

[and writing on the back of pics]

[edited for television]

repeat that phrase forever

write a book,

spend your life writing books

would be okay

slither in here,

my dear

(go crazy, it doesn’t matter, live wildly and fun, we’re gonna put this here and that there, we’re going to redecorate!! (in quotations) going to redecorate and have childish fun)

no lack

abundance in everything

what can we create from this?

friekish fun is impossible to fathom, though, for (mere mortals)…and from their point of reason it is insult, it is scathing mockery, it is diabolique, mysteryschzism, intangible murderfrockery, middlewatschmoffining, sallygaggingmizzteryhocclingwandermuffiningspellbindery!

indeed.

write plays where people are the extremes of obscure characterization, poetry consisting all of one syllable, syllableschisms, poetry consisting of just one word, forget about publishing….redefine the medium.

redefine the medium

opshenz

one-word revolution

anglez

syllableschism

[expand candy-smurfing zipsquiggler and call Mattel]

[it’s improv poetry and a party game all slammed into one]

[make weird packages and send them to CEOs…proposals…explore eccentricities]

explore eccentricities

ten-angle tangent

invent words

redefine

redefine

redefinition of a syllableschism

plays that are just wordplay…drama just two characters spewing otherwise unutterable nonsensical strings of paradise, muffinfucker paradise, the gamo-globulan universiary syllable…one hour of that, incomprehensible by most readers and audience members, unshoulderable by most actors, the most brilliant dramatic

don’t take risks…live (conceptually) up against the wall of weird, oblivious to the box

don’t edit anything.

serial muffinfucker

hi. i’m brilliant.

unadulterated sloppyburgers

enebryonic hilarity

alabaster everything.

friekashly tall

[entire books of logical syntactic wordplay]

make them come to you.

no capitals. all punctuation. everything.

attitude. the works.

repleasuring style.

infinite completion.

unabbreviated salamanders.

discreet opshenz.

[entire book written phonetically]

forget the box.

regurg.

.alphapussy

redirector.

[words from computers]

redirector.

redefine maleability.

rethink.

redefine.

imagine.

wonder.

stop.

minimal, perfect

eyebrow

alabaster

alabaster

alabaster everything.

empty spaces

abstract

gate no. 17

elephant eyebrow

altruism

zeeooowwww

robbing monkeys blind eyebrows

write with no punctuation, no articles, no discernable fantasy

write a few more things down.

be it.

[alphapussy…alphabet book of poetry, absolute literature, a is for…, b is for…; a page for every letter; a page for every guideword in the dictionary]

absolut literature.

mmmovement.

tap in.

frozen.

take direction.

i’m speaking.

loudly.

how ’bout later?

how about now.

[entire dialog of that, then eight other scenes equally abstract, a pinch of cumin, call it play]

absolutely ravishing.

convulse.

wordpower.

mediafrenzy.

mediamuffin.

gangbusters.

[weird punctuation in alphapussy…like the punctuation from a dictionary on mushrooms]

consensual misspelling.

trash it.

hunger.

thirst.

running.

sacrificial elves.

the rest is history.

massmedia cultural redirection (genocide)

welcome to next.

infinity bitch.

re-maleab-implementation

expand.

surrender enterprise.

mixed-media signals

genital improvosation

importance.

(re-elvishness syndrome)

(attributed to)

make.

tell.

the importance of mixed-media genital re-improvosation

[call emily…do a language show]

re-poetry-ize

sybbalanzez

reenergizing murdermuffin protein

(mountain dew)

brillianze. antz.

[spell everything phonetikally]

note to self.

[instantaneous vehicular re-appropriation]

muscle.

murdermuffin.

murdermuffin maladies [title]

that’s the whole thing.

[game that comes up with?] ad slogans

fake.

fake ad slogans.

intentional misspelling.

intentional misspelling. [corrected]

redefine.

re-act.

re-posess.

bipartisan lingual reposession.

repetition.

submit.

the wacky particle.

worrysome wizard. wobbling. worrying. whenever.

whwnwvwr [get it?]

wichita.

murder club candy.

phrasal redefinition.

reposession.

[go in and post notes everywhere…reclaim a coffeehouse…take over, placing notes, a happening, ]

announce.

become. be-fucking-come.

poetryscandal.

swizzlenifty.

zapfchancery

it’s just. but–

instantaneous re-phraseology

doctor happenstance is in the house

rap. monkey. is in the house.

in the house.

off the hook.

[decorate bill tudor’s house]

lucid.

you’re not dreaming.

winnebago. boulevard. zapfchancery.

write.

straight to classical.

improvise.

absoterrible

evolve.

[encourage rapid evolution of the English language]

play classical loud.

zero tolerance.

re-muffin-ize (as in, we’re going to … this whole place)

resubtract and redouble.

aim to tolerize.

refuck.

unhypothize.

reimport.

revert.

unsave.

instalphabet.

56. 57. What’s next!? 58?

fucking trainspotting.

spotterize.

reaccessorize.

re-alphabertize.

re-enchant.

instantaneous realphabetization complex

i’m through with chess.

storm out.

bulligerant

alphabetic bulligeranze.

stormtrooper pantylock.

that fucking billionaire.

period.

repanty.

solidly repregnate.

poetreelokk.

what’s your perception?

punctuate.

murdermaladymister.

hhhot.

just one critisim.

hold that thought.

i wont kiss.

gnoshing.

kissypoo.

closeit.

i’ve changed everything.

new slogans all around.

billboardz.

it was nothing.

not with you.

never anything.

we’ll take parts of it.

doesn’t it feel ducky?

i mean the feeling.

supposed to.

didn’t.

poised.

it’s my favorite place to sleep.

sleepyduck. ling.

much bigger.

re-patriate.

surrpastuate.

niptrovocate.

zloomantheate.

exfunctuate.

ennovicate.

re-expand.

you’re not it.

gotcha.

ohyeah.

imposticate.

the words are real.

i wish i had my list.

protect the innocent.

innoculate.

infatuate.

self-inflate.

really mathematical thinking.

before I learned to talk.

kitae.

hello my kittae.

abstract re-enebriation.

reinitiate.

reinitiate pregnant pauses.

reactivate the pregnancy.

reenact possibility.

follow.

keep up.

you didn’t say that.

you didn’t.

partially retolerable waste.

partially retolerable byproduct.

waste style.

extra virgin. extra wide.

greaseburn. fightclub.

spaces.

first.

take it.

just go.

take me.

a-z:

[r]iddle me this.

boulevard of broken pencils

[m]ovies with millions of movie references

a-z:

[a]d[vertising]

[s]

implicity

“bang.”

“delicious.”

“a tour-de-force.”

with a through line and characters, drama, literary, but supermodern

m is for movies, but we never say so

[with diagrams like in a dictionary]

remalady the zhivago.

all the way.

different every time.

keep the pants. lose the hair.

see.

I hope you’re having a lovely time.

The Murdermuffin Post-it

Two-voice Poetry

I wrote the left half of this poem in 1996(7?), and the right half in 2000. It’s a two-voice poem :: you get two people to read it to you in unison, one in your left ear and one in your right ear. This is how me and my friends used to entertain ourselves back then. Jim Brooks at CJ (my high school (one of the three)) recently told me he uses this “every year when I have my creative writing students do their two-voice poems. They always enjoy reading yours.”  That is incredibly meaningful to me, that this two-voice form is sparking creativity in high school students in Ohio!!  Mr. Brooks continues, “Some of my students really enjoy writing in this format, and a few of their products have shown up in our anthology. I may try to pass a few of those on to you.”  Please do!!  With permission I’ll publish them here.

Watch and Sway (Emily Olmsted)

Two-voice Poetry

Inattentiveness/smiles

excerpt from note from me to my high school calculus teacher:

“I hope your life and world are wonderful!! I was excited to see that you still teach at CJ. I wasn’t the most attentive student in your class, but that was more about my own pacing. I remember, and always will remember, that you reached out to me to attempt to connect me with math-related subject matter, loaning me your fractal books among other tactics! Thank you so much for your care at that time.”

excerpt from her reply to me:

“For what it is worth, I don’t really remember you being inattentive. What sticks in my mind about you is that you always had such a nice smile. It was a calm smile. High school teachers appreciate little pools of calmness in their day.”

Inattentiveness/smiles

Remembering kindness

I just wrote a couple of high school teachers…mainly bugging one of them to see if he had a copy of a poem I wrote back then that I have since lost.

Thinking of those teachers, and thinking of me at the time that I knew them…that was a time that was very hard for me in some ways (due to the process of adolescence!), and a time during which both of those teachers and some others showed me some basic, simple kindnesses that, when writing them just now, I realized I will never forget.

I have not always been kind—and I think, with some experience, that kindness isn’t appropriate with everyone—but I hope as I age that I can be like those adults from that school who were kind to me.

Remembering kindness