Just ran across a couple of your videos while doing 9/11 research.
You are beautiful :: you are (as those I know say) a *spark*.
Change the world, you; this place needs a few sparks :: sometimes it is the province of those who can most deeply feel sadness, to set the rest on fire.
“I saw this woman today. She was like you but…she was maybe forty-five, fifty, somewhere in there. And… You know how time has a tendency to wear us down? This woman…it was like she had somehow resisted that. Some people, even when they smile, there’s this…sadness in their eyes. But then there’s this rare example, every ten-thousand people you cross paths with, who have…a spark…of some sort…an elegance, an ease about them. I used to think only some people had it, but now I think that everyone is born with that spark. What’s rare is to find someone who over all those years would never let it be taken away.” (A Simple Love Story)
Looking through 9/11 videos to try to find shreds of truth I happen upon Decky11 on YouTube, who was promoting Zeitgeist and sharing opinions. Then I click on this video and I get a dose of something I was in need of but which is in short supply: and that is reminding. Reminding that there are others who hurt but are bright, others who feel and feel so much it hurts them.
I don’t know a thing about this person, but like can see like, and when I watch this video I am reminded of something that is true about me. Which is that I am a beautiful person, a raw person, a person with a rare view into this world.
And it hurts me so much to be around people who are showing their ugly sides :: and I cannot say it any other way than that people in my most recent work situation, and people in my family, some of them, have shown me unspeakable ugliness as of late. And sometimes that’s the side I show, unfortunately. Part of who I am is that when my uncle, or my boss, or my dad, shows me their ugliness, I call it like it is. And you all hate me for it.
But you have to know that there are people out there, like me, and like the person in this video I stumbled upon, who have seen the beautiful world :: and even though it hurts us to do so, and even though you hurt us for doing so :: and even though you think the things we do are crazy :: we are trying to do something very specific with the beautiful world we know :: we are trying to show it to you.