That I was back in Dallas, around the streets where I grew up, walking by the school, walking by McKenzie’s old house, and passing by everything was overgrown, the neighborhood changed. The architect Mr. Davis (McKenzie’s dad) had grown rich, embedding giant fossils he had collected, into the side of his house…an ancient turtle eight feet wide stuck out the side of his house, crowned with other, smaller records. Their house was open-air, tangling vines and weeds going from the outside in, and the inside a friendly museum of things they had collected from around the world. McKenzie, if that was even McKenzie, with her four-year-old child and dyed black hair (it used to be blonde) was of little interest to me. I talked with her mother, and then Mr. Davis and I took a walk by Alex Sanger (my elementary school), and by our old street on Eustis. In previous dreams of Eustis, our childhood house had changed, had new owners, but was still recognizable. This time it was all but lost in tides of time, grown poor, sunken in to the row of houses on each side. But certain houses had grown rich, even on the same block. Marty (the woman who lived on the corner of the L-shaped street, who had a pool and the most amazing toys, who was young and pretty but lived alone and ate at a four person table where the other three places were occupied by [non-sexual] blow-up humans]…Marty was one of the ones who had grown rich. Even budged up next to houses, like the one from my childhood, that had decayed, hers was bulging, overgrown, lavish; lights were on, brighter than either night or day on the outside, and life was growing and being nurtured inside. Even though at the time of my visit I was traveling light, I knew, talking with Mr. Davis and touring the neighborhood, that I had become one of these.
We must change it, we must master it, we must make it ours.
When this is overcoming adversity, it inspires us.
Essentially, this feature is imagination, and delusion, and god-like-ness…we decide that the powers that be hold no sway over us, we stubbornly redefine the features of reality that we do not like.
It’s attractive…it’s also ridiculous.