26 July 1996

Nadja and I were barefoot together last night. We said we loved each other. She asked me if she could keep me, and I said yes. Then she asked me if she really could keep me, and I said yes, she really could. Really, really, really. It’d be great to be married, she said, to just lie here forever…just to fall asleep in your arms. Wouldn’t that be heaven? Wouldn’t it be awesome to live together, to drown in this greatness? Couldn’t we refuge in this moment, revel in the night forever, and have the sun never come up…or if it did, have it find us on this couch alone, in an empty house, our house…

Talk about rapture. Talk about joy. Talk about living your dream. On the first day of school I envisioned this girl straddling me, both of us as the Greek Gods and Goddesses we were studying at the time. Now for the last three months I have had that experience repeatedly, reality brighter and better than the dream. Today at OU that’s what I feel; it’s as if I was sleeping all this time, in a fantastic reality. I slept in the car on the way up here so I literally woke up as we entered the college gates. The sky has swept me up in its clouds, I am

26 July 1996