Switching to Tumblr

I think I’m going to start using Tumblr. I think I’m going to leave this WordPress blog here for posterity. I think that’s what I’m going to do.

Posted at 16:19 on 2010/07/21 | Leave a comment | Filed Under: Self | Continue reading

Faulkner quotes I’m digging tonight

“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” “It is the writer’s privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart.” “Don’t be ‘a writer’. Be writing.” “Wonder. Go on and wonder.” “…I give […]

Posted at 23:44 on 2010/07/15 | Leave a comment | Filed Under: Books, Quote, Writing | Tagged: , | Continue reading

@clownfysh

  • Dreamt a church youth group was still inviting me to their class. It was nice, but I was like: guys, I’m 38 years old. :: 1 month ago
  • When does shrewd evaluation turn into crippling, crippling judgment? :: 1 month ago
  • There is a perfectionism in my thoughts that haunts every daily action. :: 1 month ago

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  • Switching to Medium 2016/02/16
    I think I’m going to start using Medium.  I think I’m going to leave this Tumblr blog here for posterity.  I think that’s what I’m going to do.
  • New diagnosis 2016/02/09
    My psych diagnosis of Bipolar I Disorder Most Recent Episode Manic / Psychosis NOS or Bipolar I Disorder Most Recent Episode Manic with Psychotic Features has been changed to Bipolar-Type Schizoaffective Disorder.This basically means that I have psychotic experiences which occur outside the context of a mood episode.  With strict bipolar disorder, psychosis […]
  • Eccentricity and the thought virus 2016/01/28
    In On Liberty, John Stuart Mill famously writes:In this age, the mere example of nonconformity, the mere refusal to bend the knee to custom, is itself a service.  Precisely because the tyranny of opinion is such as to make eccentricity a reproach, it is desirable, in order to break through that tyranny, that people should be eccentric.  Eccentricity has alwa […]
  • "This is nothing!" 2016/01/27
    In the film Wag the Dog, things keep getting worse and worse for the protagonists, but regardless, Dustin Hoffman’s character’s refrain is: “This is nothing!” No matter how bad things get, he exclaims “This is nothing!” and goes on to tell a story of a time when he encountered something worse, and by comparison, he always determines that their present crisis […]
  • A week off from writing 2016/01/26
    I’m a few days in to taking a week off from writing.I just finished what is probably my last major edit of Davina’s memoir, a memoir of 37 years of my friend Davina’s life based on interviews with her.  We have worked on this, from the moment of conception to now, for a little more than two years.  Davina is doing a final read through now.I need some time to […]
  • Draft post ideas on writing etc. 2016/01/10
    I’m cleaning out things.  Got my Netflix queue down to 10 films, from 200.  Didn’t get to inbox zero, but got to inbox eight.  Trying to just use one browser instead of three.So today it’s tumblr draft posts, which are mostly ideas for writing.  I’m going to cut and paste each of them here, expand slightly, and delete them.  Here goes.Too many ideas, too man […]
  • Indicator light problems 2016/01/08
    In Apollo 13, the Ron Howard flick, there’s a scene where three astronauts are in a simulator.  The veteran pilot has been replaced by a rookie (played by Kevin Bacon).  They are simulating re-entry interface.  An indicator light goes off.  They are coming in too steep.  The rookie pilot says, “I’m switching to manual.” The veteran commander (Tom Hanks) look […]
  • Three types of hallucinations 2016/01/02
    These are three types of hallucinations.  I’m not an expert.  I haven’t studied this shit.  It just occurs to me, having hallucinated under a few different circumstances, that these three categories are significant.Decidable hallucinations—This is the type of hallucination you have when you take a reasonable amount of LSD or psychedelic mushrooms or whatever […]
  • “The proof is in the pudding.” 2015/12/31
    One of my favorite sayings is “The proof is in the pudding.”It’s derived from the saying, “The proof of the pudding is in the eating,” a proverb that means “the real value of something can be judged only from practical experience or results and not from appearance or theory.”Um.  But.  To me it means something else.According to NPR and everyone else on the i […]
  • The fake narrative in my head that my body uses to trick me into doing what it wants me to do 2015/12/30
    When I was done using the toilet, a spider lowered herself from a vent in the ceiling all the way through midair and down onto the toilet lid.  She looked around a little, then lifted herself back up through the air on the ceiling of the bathroom.Of course I’m not a spider mindreader, but I imagined (at the very least) that none of this action was heavily ta […]
  • What it’s like to have bipolar 2015/12/26
    There are a million listings of the symptoms, and you can read them a million times, but without storyline concrete examples, especially if you have bipolar disorder yourself, it’s hard to look at those symptom lists and diagnostic criteria and translate that into the question Do I have bipolar? or Does my friend have bipolar?One of the most helpful things t […]
  • Crazy moving out 2015/12/22
    Apparently I’ve been having one heck of a manic episode.  It’s been hell on my mom.  And this morning, as we passed each other in the kitchen, a five-minute conversation turned into a thirty-minute one, which included the phrase “I feel like we need to come up with a long-term plan for you that is different than living with me” coming from my mother.Previous […]
  • the “Cioran is probably opposite from the modern-day world of mental illness labeling” text 2015/12/19
    I can handle how you talk and how it might influence me, so please don’t worry about that.Yes, his thinking going against contemporary mental illness thinking is part of why I like him—at least what I can tell of that from the little I’ve read of him.  At the very least, I would claim to anyone that there is a lot of irony in the way we are diagnosed and med […]
  • Solar system party email 2015/12/18
    Mom and I have had a  rough time of it lately.  For a while it was rough because (probably) I was in an irritable mania and Mom was irritating me (partly because of my bipolar mood, partly because she is overdone with the move and with me and who knows what).Last night we had the second of two apologetic conversations, this one really productive seeming to m […]
  • Manic apology email 2015/12/11
    Ever have one of those days where you wake up to cops banging on your door telling you to call your doctor and your doctor says, “You are manic.  Do you know that?”  Well, I have those days from time to time, and for me, yesterday was one of them.This is not the first time police have come to my house in roughly this same capacity over an email I sent or a p […]
  • The only thing I know about compassion 2015/10/21
    I’m not a mean person—never have been.  Most people probably think I already am a compassionate person.  I don’t usually do things to hurt people—sometimes I strike back when someone hurts me..I’m doing that less and less.  So when I say I only know one thing about compassion, I don’t mean I was the kid on the playground picking fights.  I wasn’t.  In fact m […]
  • Why smart people don’t like AA 2015/10/13
    As I said before, I didn’t have any intention of discussing this with anyone from AA, even though sharing my thoughts might be useful to that group or me—it’s basically a conversation I don’t want to have.  I’m not an AA activist or leader or meeting founder; I don’t want to reform AA, I was just going there to get help getting sober.  I haven’t gone back to […]
  • Your lack of acceptance is your irrelevance 2015/10/01
    I go to an AA meeting every week at a Buddhist temple.  At least I used to.It’s a meditation meeting—my favorite kind of AA meeting.  I’ve been to similar meetings in other towns.  The format is roughly half an hour of meditation followed by half an hour of people sharing their experiences with alcohol and other drugs, or their experiences with meditation.Th […]
  • “It’s so beautiful to feel” 2015/09/26
    I cry.I cry because I have bipolar.  I cry because I feel.  I cry because when I witness harsh, deep, true beauty, it touches me.That kind of beauty can only touch you if you’re open, defenseless, willing to be hurt.I told my mom about In Bruges this morning, that I watched it a second time last night, and I cried when I told her about it.  It is a subtly, r […]
  • Just keep it in the books 2015/09/24
    I’m so glad we can discuss deep things about art. After our conversation I told Mom (jokingly) that I was giving her full credit for raising such a wonderful, wonderful woman as you. I appreciate so much that we can talk about deep and far out and abstract things. I am used to most people simply dismissing me as crazy when they don’t understand me, and somet […]

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